Manslations 101

Happy 2019 babes!!!! This super cute picture is from our New Years Eve’s festivities. One of our new year's resolutions is to better communicate with each other, with family, with friends, and with boys. Because boys….y’all are confusing—see photo above for an accurate reaction to 99% of our conversations with the opposite gender.

Y’know when you’re talking to a guy...and it sounds as if you’re not even speaking the same language? Yeah, it’s pretty freaking confusing. In our Theories of Communication course last year we learned ALLL about the differences in the way that men and women communicate. It’s no wonder we can’t understand each other, we really are speaking different languages.

EASY WOMEN LANGUAGE:	CONFUSING MEN LANGUAGE:
Communicates to understand feelings	Communicates to solve a problem, transactional, efficiency is a priority  (makes sense, but we need to talk it through please and thank you)
Explores and discusses all the information, every minute detail	Minimal details, gets to the point (more details please... we are so confused!!)
Women speak as to share, and seek relation	Men speak as to negotiate or gain dominance (are we really that surprised ladies…)
Women engage various avenues of body language	Men use minimal facial expressions (how are we supposed  to know what you are feeling?!!?)
When listening, women are empathetic and attempt to relate to the speaker through verbal or nonverbal actions	When listening, men offer their advice (ughh...why????????)

So, as you can tell, we are basically different species. We use communication for different purposes, and we use different ways to communicate. And this can be pretty confusing, especially in the realm of dating and relationships. But, oooh we got something to help all you confused ladies out. It’s called a manslator. Okay that sounds dumb. But let us tell you about this book that Nic found at McKay’s, it is called Manslations: Decoding the Secret Language of Men by Jeff Mac. This book is like your very own translation guide, discussing anything and everything on guy’s behaviors.

This inspired us to conduct our own little manslations. We got insight from you, our readers (via Instagram @girlswthcurls), our friends, and our own personal experiences. We asked and compiled a list of actions or phrases that guys have used when communicating with us...that infuriate, frustrate, and confuse us. We then found some professional manslators (aka the men in our lives that will decode our men’s language for us) AKA our favorite barista, a tinder boy, and a close friend. What makes them professional manslators?? Well, they’ve been speaking this AND listening to this cryptic language for years, So let’s see what our manslators had to say...                                

PROBLEM #1: “Ignore you for a couple days then pretends everything is good”
Hip Barista,30: Got stuff going on. [It’s as simple as that?] Yeah got stuff going on, wasn’t thinking. Yeah too busy, got stuff going on [Oh my lanta, that’s just too generic] Sorry, I haven’t dated in 14 years, if that disqualifies me.

Tinder Boy, 20: ehhhhh he probably just wants to bang you, and doesn’t really care.

Unnamed Friend. 21: Sometimes we get too busy, with like school, work, or video games too [rolls eyes]--we’re being real here. If you truly care for them at the end, you’re gonna at least respond to them throughout the day or make time, at least a second, just to say “hey I’m stuck doing this blah blah blah.” Simply put, it’s just not a priority, which sucks to hear. (AKA thank u, NEXT)

PROBLEM #2: “Uses the ‘laughing emoji’ when I tell him how I feel”

Hip Barista,30: Hahaha. I mean that’s like, that’s the, yeah things are great. I’m so happy that you feel that way, it makes me laugh. [Are you sure?] Out of excitement [I don’t understand]. Nah I feel like that’s a failure to commit, so instead of saying “I don’t feel the same way,” like a normal person, a man would probably say react with “haha that’s great” kind of thing.

Tinder Boy, 20: No that’s just guys, there’s nothing wrong. [What?] There’s nothing wrong, that’s just...he’s just like interesting, cool, that's it. [But why would you use that emoji then?] I don’t know, it’s just like funny, guys don’t think things through. [Why is it funny?] I don’t know...it just is

Unnamed Friend, 21: Long story short I think, honestly I think it would be they want to avoid that all together, just kinda beating around the bush, lol, hahaha, ehhh kinda shrug it off. They’re not comfortable sharing their feelings, yeah they’re not comfortable talking about it yet.

PROBLEM #3: “FWB wants to grab coffee”

Hip Barista, 30: That’s an extra benefit. Just tack it on to the end of the tab. Y’know? Not only is the benefits part great, but the other benefit is your conversation.

Tinder Boy, 20: Either insecure or just wants to take it to another level...no, no, no, actually just wants to take it to another level.

Unnamed Friend, 21: Yeah, it’s kinda like a gateway. Oh yeah, this is a good opportunity. Cause there’s a connection there already.

Yikes! Some interesting insight from our manslators. We are very thankful for all three of you for interpreting and translating your language for us. Also thankful for all you confused ladies that sent in your relational mishaps to us. If we didn’t get to your request yet, not to worry we will be coming out with a sequel soon! Communication is hard, communication between two people that don’t communicate in the same way is nearly impossible. But understanding the differences in communication between genders is important. The more educated we are on these differences, the better we can talk and listen to one another.

If you find yourself confused by a man’s language, be clear--tell him you are confused. Orrrr, just send in your confusions to us--and we’ll find some manslators for you. Wait and see what we’ll do next!